Towards the end of last year, through the miracle of modern science and our wonderful surrogate, my husband and I welcomed our first child into this world. Becoming a parent has always been something that I’ve wanted to experience, and the last six months have been certainly the most life-changing chapter of my life.
I had exactly 167 days of leave, which was the longest period I’ve ever had without being in an office/work environment since finishing college in 2010. I’ll preface everything by saying that I had no idea what to expect besides sleep deprivation, and doing anything as a new parent would not have been possible without the following:
- working for a company that offered 18 weeks of paid leave
- taking an additional 4 weeks off work without pay
- starting daycare when our son was 15 weeks old
- having my mom and mom-in-law available to help with child care
- being intentional about how I wanted to spend my time
What I would recommend for those thinking about what to do while on paternity leave:
- Be realistic about what you can feasibly do. As a first time parent, I had no idea what to expect, other than sleep deprivation.
- Create structure in your day. Without having a job to go to, I found myself feeling untethered, which felt problematic. For me, French classes and my workout schedule helped ground me.
- Take it easy. This time is for bonding and for figuring out all things parenting. Anything else is truly extra.
For privacy sake, I’ll spare the photos of my little one.
Without further ado, my leave by the numbers…
- Hikes: 15
- Wine Tastings: 7
- Architecture Tours: 5
- Trains/Planes/Ferries Taken: 9
- Books Read: 7
- Classes Taken: 2(ish)
- Museums Visited: 21
- Races Ran: 1
Hiking Adventures (15 hikes)
Wine Tasting (7 tastings)
Architecture Tours (5 buildings)
Trains, Planes & Ferries (9 journeys)
Books Read (7):
- Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman (October)
- The Deepest South of All, Richard Grant (November)
- The Amur River, Colin Thubron (November)
- Sovietistan, Erika Fartland (December)
- High, Erika Fartland (January)
- America’s Frozen Neighborhoods, Robert Ellickson (February)
- Wounded Tigris, Leon McCarron (March)
Classes Taken (2)
I’m considering a potential career change into urban planning, and enrolled in a 15 week on-site course as an open university student at San Jose State. I’m halfway through the semester and have learned a ton!
In addition to urban planning studies, I continued to work on my French. My goal with French is to be able to communicate at a basic level, especially at wineries and restaurants, while in France or other Francophone countries. I took about 60+ hours of classes between Nov ’24 – Feb ’25.
Museums Visited (21)
Around the Bay Area and beyond I visited 21 different museums, I’ll spare the photos for all of them, but the top highlights were the three NPS sites located nearby:
- Angel Island Immigration Museum
- Rosie the Riveter National Historic Site
- Fort Point National Historic Site
Races Ran (1)
I completed the San Francisco Half-Marathon back in February. This was the first time I’ve ever ran a race in the rain. I absolutely never do another race in the rain ever agin. Despite the heavy rains, I set a new PR: 2 hours, 1min and 30 seconds!
Reflection
I still can’t believe I spent nearly the last six months being out of office. It truly was a memorable experience and am forever grateful for this time. That being said, I am eagerly looking forward to getting back to work and seeing what this next stage of my life will look like, as a working parent!